Rounding a Corner
I haven't been active with a personal blog for almost four years. Life has been a little complicated. But it would seem that we're rounding a corner. Unfortunately, in that time I've forgotten how to log in to my original blog?! So, you can read those posts here. Hopefully you will find reasons to laugh and to cry and you'll want to join me again for more stories.
This is my family...
Everyone has grown over the last four years. We don't have any more babies, which is weird, considering that I was pregnant or nursing almost constantly for seventeen years?! And we may have grandbabies at some point in the near future, which is also weird, since I don't feel anywhere near that old?! One of our girls is married, another is heading off for college. So far one has passed me by height-wise, but I'm sure she won't the only one. It's just a matter of time.
And, I'm realizing with new clarity, time waits for no one. Not even an over tired mama with needy kids. The last four years have flown by. We've spent countless hours in therapy offices, doctors' offices, specialists' offices, and even hospitals; MRIs, surgeries, then more MRIs, first with one, then another child. No wonder I didn't have time or energy for blogging. I was mothering. And that's exactly what I needed to do.
Doctors' appts continue. Therapy appts continue. We've even added children to the therapy schedule as needs have become apparent. But things are getting easier. The effort and investment of time, love, and tears is paying off. We're learning what works, what doesn't, and what we need to do to stay sane. And that's a gift. A huge gift.
I won't lie; it's been painful. I've lost friends over the last four years. People whose lives moved on while mine was stuck in a vortex of tears and trauma and chaos and confusion. People didn't understand. People didn't know how to engage. And some of them just moved on. Part of that is my fault. I didn't know how to share what was going on with others. I didn't know how to let others help me, how to let go of what didn't matter so I could invest in what did. And I'm not a very quick study. It takes a looooong time and loooots of pain for me to finally make adjustments. Call me easy-going or stubborn, or whatever you want. Bottom line is, I'm a mess.
Which is so precious about turning a corner. I'm a mess. But Jesus isn't afraid of my mess. He isn't surprised by it or frustrated by it or disappointed by it or anything. He's probably sad for me as I continue getting myself into tight spots. He probably covers His face and shakes His head as He sees me heading for rough ground, again. The amazing thing about Jesus, about grace, is, Jesus walks with me through the mess of my own making!!
This is my family...
Everyone has grown over the last four years. We don't have any more babies, which is weird, considering that I was pregnant or nursing almost constantly for seventeen years?! And we may have grandbabies at some point in the near future, which is also weird, since I don't feel anywhere near that old?! One of our girls is married, another is heading off for college. So far one has passed me by height-wise, but I'm sure she won't the only one. It's just a matter of time.
And, I'm realizing with new clarity, time waits for no one. Not even an over tired mama with needy kids. The last four years have flown by. We've spent countless hours in therapy offices, doctors' offices, specialists' offices, and even hospitals; MRIs, surgeries, then more MRIs, first with one, then another child. No wonder I didn't have time or energy for blogging. I was mothering. And that's exactly what I needed to do.
Doctors' appts continue. Therapy appts continue. We've even added children to the therapy schedule as needs have become apparent. But things are getting easier. The effort and investment of time, love, and tears is paying off. We're learning what works, what doesn't, and what we need to do to stay sane. And that's a gift. A huge gift.
I won't lie; it's been painful. I've lost friends over the last four years. People whose lives moved on while mine was stuck in a vortex of tears and trauma and chaos and confusion. People didn't understand. People didn't know how to engage. And some of them just moved on. Part of that is my fault. I didn't know how to share what was going on with others. I didn't know how to let others help me, how to let go of what didn't matter so I could invest in what did. And I'm not a very quick study. It takes a looooong time and loooots of pain for me to finally make adjustments. Call me easy-going or stubborn, or whatever you want. Bottom line is, I'm a mess.
Which is so precious about turning a corner. I'm a mess. But Jesus isn't afraid of my mess. He isn't surprised by it or frustrated by it or disappointed by it or anything. He's probably sad for me as I continue getting myself into tight spots. He probably covers His face and shakes His head as He sees me heading for rough ground, again. The amazing thing about Jesus, about grace, is, Jesus walks with me through the mess of my own making!!
How amazing is that???
Jesus walks with me through the mess of my own making?!
Which is why I'm back here, blogging again, sharing my messiness, and my victories, with the world. Even if nobody is listening.
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