Am I who you think I am?

When I began the MAGDJ program in 2018, I had very traditional ideas about truth, justice, compassion, poverty, and missions. The process of having my very traditional values and ideas challenged forced me to wrestle, deeply, with what I believed and why. Those wrestlings led me to the conviction that the most important endeavor I can engage in is helping connect others to the heart of God. Hands down, no competition, the solution to the problems of the world is the Gospel! 

That being said, I have discovered that conversations about issues like truth, justice, compassion, poverty, and missions can be very... complex. Especially within the Evangelical community. While we may have some similarities, the fabric of Evangelicalism is very... diverse. 

As someone who has very high regard for Scripture and who seeks to live in light of the truth of God's Word, I have taken seriously the mandate to love my neighbor as myself. I also believe that I am supposed to love God with my whole heart. Some of the time, that means I disagree with others who also hold a very high view of Scripture but may interpret or understand some things differently. 

The crazy part to me is how many people don't know really know who I am. I am, to borrow (and paraphrase) Winston Churchill's words, an enigma wrapped in a contradiction. Rather than holding simplistic views on issues like poverty, homelessness, incarceration, law enforcement, justice, or even Critical Race Theory, I see the need for nuance, understanding, and curiosity. Rather than spouting off answers, I like to ask questions. 

While God's passion for justice in Scripture leaves no room for debate, when you talk about justice in an evangelical context, people bristle. Visibly. If you suggest that perhaps Michael Brown and George Floyd did not get treated justly, eyebrows raise. Mention Critical Race Theory in anything other than a dismissive, derogatory light and people begin to scowl. 

Recently, someone got in my face, speaking very passionately about how socialism is the cause of our economic ills. It felt like the response was, perhaps, driven by an assumption that I might support socialism. I do not. Socialism, as with any overly simplistic attempt at fixing something, is based on faulty assumptions and tends to make worse the problems it attempts to solve. It is like thinking shelters will "fix" homelessness or that legislation can "fix" complex social issues. 

Perhaps some of the confusion is that I don't fit neatly into an evangelical box. Perhaps some of the confusion stems from simplistic (and maybe one-sided) conversations that do not allow for nuance. Perhaps some of the confusion comes from assumptions based on my social media posts, though the thought of that makes me laugh; I'm an equal-opportunity offender with few sacred cows. 

In the end, I'm learning that few people really know me and that is okay. I'm not responsible for their assumptions or opinions. I don't need anyone else's approval. The Only One whose opinion matters loves me and is using every experience (including the disapproval of others) to make me more like Jesus (Romans 8:28, 29), and that is a very good thing.