Will the Real Villain Please Stand Up

  

I’m not sure who it should be attributed to, but I saw a post on Facebook about how we’re all villains in someone else’s story… That idea has given me much food for thought.

What does it mean to be the villain in someone else's story? And what difference does it make to be aware of that reality? Neither question is easy to answer. Part of the difficulty is we don’t want to admit to being the villain. Part of it is how difficult it is to recognize, acknowledge, and take responsibility for failure or imperfection. Some people may genuinely desire to be the villain, but I don’t think that represents the majority.

I’m coming to terms with being the villain in my daughter’s story. In her mind, I am such a villain that it is unsafe to have any kind of relationship with me; the last time I had any interaction with her was before Thanksgiving.

My emotions have run the gamut over the last few months, first being angry, then trying to defend myself (which is very dissatisfying), then finally walking through deep, resigned grief. Along the way, I began to recognize some similarities between my reactions to the broken relationship with my daughter and the reactions of Christians to accusations from the greater culture.

According to Cru research completed in 2015, Christians are considered inauthentic, obnoxious, irrelevant, and potentially dangerous. But we don’t want to admit that. Like my response to my daughter’s complaints and accusations, Christians want to blame the greater culture for the failures of which we are accused. We want to justify our behavior and/or our beliefs. We want to explain why we have done what we’re accused of. Or why what we’re accused of isn’t really what happened. Rather than seeking to be the ambassadors we’re called to be (2 Cor 5:20), we end up looking more like tourists, poorly dressed in tube socks and shorts, obnoxious shirts and straw hats, speaking loudly because we think somehow that will overcome the language barrier.

The “language barrier” looks different for Christians living in the US. This is our context. This is “technically” where we belong. We are using the same words; we’re advocating for biblical truth. It’s just that the words don’t mean what we think they mean, and everywhere we turn, someone is offended by what we say or do. It is difficult, confusing, and frustrating. And yet, if we are to be truly effective at engaging missionally in this place we call home, we can’t just get louder.

The challenge is, talking louder is easy, fast, and a very natural response. It doesn’t take much effort. I don’t have to invest much time. It doesn’t even cost anything. Worst of all, talking louder can work, to a degree, which is very reinforcing and provides just the support or justification necessary to perpetuate the brokenness. We are, in a sense, Christian “tourists,” enjoying our journey around the sun with little conscious concern about how our carelessness may actually be contributing to our reputation as “tourists” rather than ambassadors and representatives of Heaven. And in that, we become the villains in so many other stories…